155 Days

No, I don’t keep track of the numbers, but I felt it necessary to calculate the days I’ve been sober for my first post. A lot has happened since day one. Day one found me in the ICU unit of a large hospital, family members circled around my bed. I had no idea where I was or how I had gotten there. Turns out I was life-flighted there from another hospital. I don’t have memory of that either. Or of the car crash. And for that I am thankful. But still, 155 days.

My life has been turned upside down in that time. I’ve been scared. Lonely. Angry. Depressed. Have I mentioned I’ve been scared? But I’m getting through this, day by day.

Reading sobriety blogs and memoirs have been a tremendous help and a huge comfort to me. Because of that, I decided to start this blog so I can get some things off of my chest, to remind myself of where I’ve been, and to possibly bring comfort to others.

Okay, let’s do this.

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2 thoughts on “155 Days

  1. I’ve been arrested 5 times. I quite drinking after the 5th time, on my own for six months. shortly after I moved to canada, I quite simply gave in to peer pressure, and haven’t gotten used to saying no since then. I realized that I fucking hate drinking in the process, but I’m a people person, and people just love to see me drink… I’m also a world traveller, so establishing a routine is practically impossible. I studied neuroscience, so I have a very distinct view about drinking and learning, and how it shapes our existence. Anyway, I’m going to follow your blog because I’m fascinated with your journey… I wish I could do what you are doing while I do my own thing as well. I hope with time, and your frequent updates, I will be reminded of the benefits of sobriety, of the strength that I had at home, and maybe one day I can spread the word as well. cheers, and i hope you keep it up.

    • Thank you for your kind words Zach, and I wish you well on your own journey. I tried for so long to control my drinking (which of course never worked), but my biggest issue was loneliness. Friends would continue to invite me out, and eventually I would give in and my drinking would be out of control all over again. I like to joke that I am an antisocial person who craves being with others. I still struggle with being at home, knowing that my friends are out. But I guess that dealing with loneliness and learning to really enjoy my own company is half the battle. I’m getting there…

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