212 Days

Life has been crazy busy! I graduated from my IOP last Monday, and now it’s the downward slide into the holidays. Wheeee! I haven’t had time to think about Christmas until this past week. Granted, I do not have kids (my two dogs and three cats will not notice if I’m late getting my gifts bought and wrapped), so I don’t have many people to buy for and it’s not that big of a deal. I prefer to spend time with family and friends over a meal in lieu of gifts, since we all tend to have too much…stuff.

I was thinking about how busy my life has been lately, and how each day is so valuable. Back in my drinking days, I wouldn’t think anything of wasting an entire day due to a nasty hangover. It’s great having these moments of clarity, of being able to look at the old me and know that I’m in a much better place mentally and physically. It’s appalling to look back and see the hundreds of times I spent money only to give myself the flu! That’s what my bad hangovers were like, the flu. Pounding headache, body-aches, being too hot and too cold. However, the worst of it was the vomiting. I would spend an entire day and often into the late evening just throwing up. Not being able to hold down a sip of water, puking far past the point of even having anything to come up. The day after going through one of these super-hangovers was also bad: I’d be completely exhausted and my body would ache even more from the physical exertion of all that retching. I’d often get red dots all over my face and neck from burst capillaries. I tried to cover them up as best I could with makeup, but it’s pretty hard to erase all the evidence.

It’s hard to admit that openly, even though I am writing here anonymously. I was such a hot mess! But it feels good to look back and see what I’ve accomplished these past six months. Who has time for hangovers? Not this girl! I am looking forward to seeing what’s next in my life without feeling like hell, thankyouverymuch.

Onward! (Let holiday craziness commence…)

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3 thoughts on “212 Days

  1. Have the burst capillaries gone now? I ask because I had the same problem. It’s largely improved now but i still have some stubborn ones on the side of my nose. Am wondering about laser treatment, though I have tried that in the past (when still drinking) without much success.

  2. Oh yes…I am familiar with the all-day puking and horrible hangovers. Ugh. It is so wonderful not to feel like that anymore. You are exactly right- paying money to make ourselves sick! It really is kind of crazy when you think about it… thanks for being honest!

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