Day 281

I’m feeling much better than when I last posted. I’ve also cut myself some slack in regards to my meetings. Yes, they are beneficial and I really enjoy them. My home group is obviously the one I love most, I’m there every Saturday, and I find that it really does feed me spiritually and emotionally throughout the week. But I’ve had a rough go of things lately, and if I want to be a hermit when it’s nasty out, so be it. I read sobriety blogs and texts regularly along with the Big Book, I keep in touch with my sponsor. Last week I reached nine full months of sobriety, and I am incredibly proud of myself. I’ve always been my own worst enemy, my harshest critic. These past nine months, I’ve learned to let go a bit and be gentler and kinder to myself. I still have my moments, but I feel that I am doing a much better job at silencing my inner critic.

My court case has been weighing heavily on my mind lately, as I do not see any end in sight. This makes it hard to plan for the future, but I cannot live like a prisoner before I am one (which hopefully will not happen, but you catch my drift). My current home situation is depressing at the moment. My dog Cosmo is still being mopey and uber-clingy since Grace has passed. And now with the loss of our cat Takibi, his brother Toshi is understandably acting depressed. And of course my boyfriend and I are bummed out with all this unexpected loss in our little family.

We’ve fostered greyhounds in the past, and we are thinking of fostering again. It’s been two years since we have, and because Cosmo loves other dogs so much, we were thinking that it would be good to foster again either this summer or fall depending on what happens in my case (i.e. will I end up in prison or jail?). For all I know, this could drag out all year. I found out last night from the group I foster for that there will be new dogs up from Florida this week that will need foster families. Why not foster now? I want to jump at the opportunity, but my boyfriend isn’t so sure. It would be a great distraction from all the fun legal stuff in my life, Cosmo would have a new buddy in the house, and our rescue group would then be able to save another retired racer from a Florida track. Win-win, right? We’ll see if I can do some convincing this week. I miss my girl so much, but this would also be another good distraction from that pain.

Since I love to take photos, I’ve decided to begin taking part in the Weekly Photo Challenge. I had no idea there was such a thing, until I saw Running on Sober’s post today. I’m excited to see what this week’s challenge will be! Okay, back to work…



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