So the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee is on my ass this week. I’m letting my thoughts and insecurities get the best of me, and I’ve been pretty down the past couple days. I’m looking forward to seeing my counselor tomorrow, as I have a few things on my mind that I need to discuss with her.
One of the reasons I drank was to quiet the voice in my head that told me that I was never good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, etc. With a drink or two (or ten), I could relax my body and my mind. Now I’m just…naked and exposed. Sober and awkward! Feelings coming out all over the place. I’m talking about them more, and I am seeing progress. However, I’ve always lacked self-confidence and I am really struggling with that and learning to really love and accept myself.
I’ve begun meditating, and I am picking up on my exercise again. Sometimes I feel like I am spending so much time fixing/improving myself that I’m not really getting out there and living! Does that make sense? Obviously this is all something I need to figure out on my own, but if any of you have some guidance to give, it would be greatly appreciated.