345 Days

345 Days

The prosecution “appreciates” (their words for it) all the progress I have made this past year, but they are refusing to budge. No reduced sentence, no work release. Six months for the meek librarian with zero priors. I am angry and I am scared. I keep reminding myself that I made it out of this car alive. I can walk, I can talk, and a state trooper on scene that night who was sure I wouldn’t make it later called me the luckiest person alive. I will get through this.

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21 thoughts on “345 Days

  1. your life will never be the same, but I can see it being a beneficial experience. I won’t be doing the time though, so I wish you good spirits… will you be able to write??

  2. I don’t know if you followed what happened with me, but in my trial the prosecution was seeking jail time too. It would have been weekends type thing. They too were “impressed” with my recovery and all, but they too didn’t budge. It was a stressful time, and it weighed on me heavily at times. I certainly didn’t want to go to jail, and like you, I had no priors. It was the fact that my levels were so high (lethal, practically) and that I had my then 3 1/2 yr old son in the backseat. If I had only a few beers and that was it (yeah right) then I probably wouldn’t even have gone to trial.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say my heart is with you…I know the feeling of impending whatever it is that comes. And you’re right – we ARE lucky to be alive, and I am grateful that I didn’t hurt or kill someone. We WILL get through this, and this will be something to look at in a positive way.

    Blessings and prayers
    Paul

    • Thank you for your kind words as always, Paul. Everyone I know is outraged about this. I am too, and it’s not like I feel like I don’t deserve some sort of punishment…I’m just so worried about losing my job. Others keep telling me not to worry, because this could lead me to something better. However, with a felony on my record now…I just don’t want to think about it.

      One day at a time, right? 🙂

      • Yeah. The reality is that there will be further consequences – for both of us. Insurance will get dinged, for sure. This sort of stuff will also come up on background checks if we went to new jobs where they do that sort of thing. Potential job loss, in your case. Stigma (I am very careful about who I tell about my conviction with, especially with the circumstances – people don’t really have much compassion for drunk drivers). I guess the big picture stuff, the spiritual stuff, the whole enchillada is that we have this to share with others who may be going through it. We also have a perception shift. I know for me that I have more compassion for those who do stupid shit like I did…we’re all human and have our different causes and conditions to do things. i am not so quick to judge. And I am sure there will be other things that come from it. I don’t know.

        Anyway, I too thought that hey – I did something stupid, I get it – but jail? Ha ha…I used to be the guy who wanted to throw the book at drunk drivers…and there I am. For the Grace of God go I.

        Would it be minimum security stuff?

      • It is a maximum security jail. Should be fun! 😉

        I do have more compassion for folks in my situation. And after going through my treatment program last fall, I have a lot more compassion for addicts in general (most of the people with me were heroin addicts – us alcoholics were not well represented!).

        Considering the state of jail overpopulation right now, pretty much everyone I know is outraged that I am going here for six months. I think some friends want to start a tasteful campaign of some sorts to bring more attention to our shitty criminal justice system in the States. We’ll see what happens…

      • What???!

        Add me to that campaign list. that’s an outrage. So you’re going in with armed robbers, thugs, extortionists, etc? that makes no sense at all.

        ugh.

        not even weekend stuff? Would it be a full six months, or would there be reduction for good behaviour (they do that up here)

        I am so sorr.y.Outrageous.

      • Paul, it’s messed up. No leniency at all. My attorney said that it is doubtful that I would be released early on good behavior. So yeah me and real criminals. I will probably have my best friend (who is a writer) post on my behalf here if we get something rolling while I’m incarcerated. She’s currently at work writing for me (and taking a break from her book). In her words: “I’m taking the idea that the jails are overcrowded, you’ve shown a great deal of personal responsibility by reforming yourself instead of forcing the government to do it for you, only to put in a situation that actively threatens your health by threatening your sobriety. Nevermind that you’ve spent your entire career working for non-profits and have the education and skills to make a difference in your community which is impossible if you’re sleeping in a box with a bunch of rightfully angry people.”

  3. This is ridiculous…six months! Insane. I know of murderers who don’t get six months.

    Well…time to cowgirl up I guess. You’ll get through this. You are strong and sober and wise now. God has some wonderful plans for you – the trick is to get through the crap to get there. You’ll get there.

    Sherry

    • It’s messed up. Everyone I know is in an uproar. Local jails are overcrowded and they want ME in there for six months? I just wish they would be up to an alternative. Fingers crossed that I can keep my job….

  4. I’m so sorry this is happening. I know nothing I can say will make any of this better, but I’m sending my thoughts and love. If you can make it out of that car alive, you’ll make it through this as well. *hug*

  5. Devastation takes many forms. January 6, 2014, my daughter told me I have ruined her life with my drinking. I have been sober since that moment but am in so much pain I would rather be dead.

    • Wow. 😦 I’m so sorry to hear about your pain, but it is wonderful that you’ve been sober for almost four months now. I hope you are seeking support right now. Trust me when I say that your life will get better in sobriety.

  6. Been catching up… Do you know anyone who’s gone to that facility? Someone who can be straight with you and tell you how to get through the best way possible?

    More than likely, unless you’ve got something else going on, you won’t serve your full sentence. Jails really are too crowded, and even though they’re saying no right now, that could all be different in a couple of months.

    But you’ve got to start planning for your stay. It’ll suck, but you’ll get through it. ❤

    Do you want us to bump up your 6 Songs date? I'll look at the calendar, k?

    • I have a plea hearing Friday, then in 4-5 weeks I’ll have my sentence hearing. From there I’ll go to jail.

      My boyfriend called to ask them some questions in Friday, and the person he spoke to was surprised to hear that I would be there for six months. That gave me some hope, though I am continuing to act as though I will be there that long. I’ve been stonewalled every step of the way in this case, so I refuse to let myself be disappointed if the judge does not lighten my sentence. He’s a hardass to boot. I think I should be good for my 6 songs date, but if you want to move me up just in case, I’m cool with that. 🙂

      • Ok, let’s stay the course for now. You’re three weeks from Monday on my next host date, but if you find out something different on Friday we can swap if needed, no problem.

        Plan for the worst but hope for the best. Email me anytime.

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