I’m really emotional today (thanks, hormones!), and while I am feeling good about my fate for the most part, I am still battling uncertainties and stress. The biggie right now is about my job. Still wrestling with my union and HR to see if my job can be saved. I am currently a financial disaster, and if I am gone for six whole months…well, I shouldn’t worry about that yet. I have zero control and it’s out of my hands. Last night I finally fell asleep around 5 am. The worst part was that I almost dozed off while reading (I always read before bed, have done so since childhood) at my normal bedtime. So why in the hell did I toss and turn after putting my Kindle on my nightstand? Ugh. So I was up and about for the next 4+ hours. Going downstairs to read more, returning to bed, going back downstairs to play Words with Friends on my phone, eventually eating a bowl of Panda Puffs and almond milk at 3, getting nagged by the cats (“She’s up so it must be breakfast time!!!”), more reading, back to bed. Now I am feeling a bit…off. Not off, I’m actually an anxious mess today. Might as well own up to it.
I’m also all over the place because Monday marks one year in my sobriety. Sunday is one year since My Accident (yes, it deserves capitalization). My Accident happened just after 10pm. When the clock struck twelve, it was Sunday. Mother’s Day. When I came to that Sunday afternoon in the ICU, once the confusion cleared from my bruised brain, I blurted out, “I ruined Mother’s Day! I’m so sorry.” According to my Mother, that was the best and worst Mother’s Day of her life. I will write more on that next week. If I tap into that part of my memory today, I’ll probably cry for hours. Who’s got time for that on a work day?
Springtime is finally here in Northeast Ohio, and we’ve had some really gorgeous days. I am trying to soak up every second (we are perpetually sun-starved in this part of the country), and hit the trails as often as possible with my boy Cosmo (named after this guy of course), my wonderful 8 year old Rottie/Lab mix. I’m pretty partial, but come on! Is he not the most handsome boy in the world?
Yeah, we walk through cemeteries too. Cosmo and I have both had a really rough winter, what with the neverending cold and snow, and losing his sister Grace Kelly (who is now my blog’s unofficial awkward/derpy mascot). But spring is here, and we’re perking up! Some photos from my recent wanderings:
From a morning hike on my favorite local trail.
Instant mood booster right there! Blue skies and daffodils. Heaven.
More spring sky and blooms.
A sunny, chilly hike in the ledges.
Okay, had to throw in one more of my boy. This is also from my favorite hiking trail (the river always makes for a good trail diversion). I hope everyone is staying strong and having a great day. If you get the chance, go tell Christy how awesome she is on her 3 years of sobriety!