388 Days

“I’m losin’ it!”

I’ve been on the phone most of today, and I loathe being on the phone. Even worse is being on the phone with credit card companies. I need to call my main student loan company at some point this week, but I’m going to really have to dig deep to deal with them.

For my second round of lawyer’s fees in January, I had to get a few credit cards to handle the $7500. Due to my student loans totaling in the millions (I kid! kind of…), a few medical bills in collections and blah blah blah, it was hard for me scrounge that kind of cash together. No one wanted to give me a credit card, but I found a few suckers out there. Or rather I’m the sucker…but I digress. One of my cards has zero auto-pay options on their website. Infuriating! Even more infuriating was the conversation I had today, about wanting to sign up for minimum payment auto-pay. The guy just didn’t get it. “Oh, but you can just pay from your account online each month!” Yeah, I get it. That’s what I do now, but what if I do not have access to my account? Same response. OKAY, WHAT IF I AM IN JAIL AND CANNOT ACCESS MY ACCOUNT? CAN’T I JUST SIGN UP TO HAVE AUTO-PAYMENTS SO I DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS? Same fucking response. I was so frustrated that I hung up on the guy. Guess I need to call back and try for a supervisor. Need to did deep for that, too.

Yesterday, I left work early for a teeth cleaning. When I was done, I had a voice mail from my union rep: HR is refusing to allow me a leave of absence for serving jail time. Since my meeting a week ago, I’ve kind of anticipated this. It sucks, but again, my boss is doing everything possible to get me back into my position. It takes forever to hire people at the university, so if I am gone for six months, hopefully I will be able to reapply and sneak back in. HR insists that my record will not hinder my application process. It’s out of my hands, so I’m not going to worry about it. Instead, I am going to fret as I write my letter of resignation and pack up my office a bit and deal with leaving here on the sly by Friday afternoon.

I can’t believe it’s Wednesday already…slow down, time!

I keep having these ridiculous thoughts about jail. As in, I was painting my toenails the other night and thought “Will I be allowed to cut my toenails in jail (I have the lovely habit of biting my fingernails)? Or will someone do it for me?” Will I be allowed to use nail clippers in maximum security jail? Could they be used as a weapon? Yeah, this is the shit I think about.


9 thoughts on “388 Days

  1. Hard to get my head around what you’re going through here. Hope you’ve got people around you who can help support you through all this. Your folks are close by? Will be thinking of you next week. All the best. xxx

    • I have such an amazing support system! In fact, I’ve got so many great folks that will be by my side tomorrow that I don’t think they will all fit in the courtroom! 🙂

  2. Sorry to hear that HR won’t give you a LOA! But hopefully you won’t even have to go, or it will be such a short stint you can get your job back. Really pulling for you!
    Jails need a crash course to prepare you for all this stuff. So much to think of. I work in the hospital system and it’s obviously not the same as being in prison, but somewhat similarly, it is very difficult for people to manage life from an institution when they become ill, injured, or incapacitated.
    Have you thought about giving someone- your boyfriend or parents Power of Attorney while you’re away? If not legally, then just at your bank? Most banks will have a form of this.
    Anyways, sending hugs and cyber support!

    • I think I’ve got everything under control for now, at least with getting the bills paid on time. Phew! But yeah, if I am in there for six months, my bank account will be pretty much gone by the end. 😦 Whatever happens, I will get through it! Thank you for your support!

  3. Finally getting around to leaving a comment, and I’m sorry for the delay. I just… don’t know what to say here. My heart aches for you during this period. I’m not sure if that helps you or not, but it’s the truth. At the same time, I marvel at your courage, you are such an inspiration to all of us here in the blogosphere, and I would imagine in your real life as well.

    I guess I can just end with this, and I know I’ve said it before: I am thinking of you, I am praying for you, and I look forward to each and every post you write. Thank you so very much for your service, you help to keep me sober today!

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