I’m getting a bit freaked out here. I need to come up with a statement to address to the court, along with a statement to my victim. I’ve not met her, only her husband. I think about her every day, and yet, I don’t even have a face to place to Her Name. The fact that she will be in attendance at my sentencing (most likely) has thrown me into a bit of a tailspin. I’m worried that I will not be able to speak, that I will be only a shaking, sobbing mess.
A few moments ago, I finished my resignation letter to my boss. Surreal day here. I came in late, because I had one last session with my counselor this morning. I MADE MY COUNSELOR CRY. Not once, but several times. Is this real life?
Adding to the surrealness (not a word, I know) is that at this moment, people from across the globe are coming to my city, to the university where I work (for three more hours anyway), to gather and celebrate the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous. It’s all right here, right in front of my face, they are on campus with me right now, and I will be missing out. That kind of kills me. I’ve got so much to do right now and so many obligations this weekend that I will miss this annual gathering. Crazy, right?
OH. And the whole world (well, some folks) are shitting themselves over season two of Orange is the New Black premiering on Netflix today. I finally got sucked into the show around Christmas, when my legal crap became a bit more…real. And yeah, I’m dying to see what happens since there was a cliffhanger (what happens to Pennsatucky? will I have my own Pennsatucky to deal with?), but I’m not going to tune in this weekend. Too much to do, too many people to see, hits too close to home. I’m already feeling paranoid about my first naked squat and cough on Monday.
For those of whom that would like to send me a card or a letter while I am away, a separate email account has been created. It is:
From that account you can get my address in jail. Woohoo! And an FYI…that account will not be checked everyday. I have a feeling it will be overwhelming for D. who is in charge of it. So please…be patient if you do send an email to that account!
For those of you who are feeling generous, you can throw me a fiver with that email address (or whatever amount you choose) through Paypal. It will be taken out of my account and used toward my commissary funds. You know, exciting stuff: notebooks, stamps, tampons. Joy! And believe me how terrible I feel to ask people to help supply me with commissary funds or money in general. My friends tell me to shut the hell up when I bring that up. I’m terrified about my financial situation if I am in jail for six months especially since my job will be gone.
One day at a time, right?
And just a quick note to let you all know how much your amazing/sweet/supportive comments make my day(s). I really cannot thank you all enough.