585 Days

I am still struggling to keep up with texts, emails and phone calls. Still adjusting to real life, along with my new normal: living with my mother and being unable to drive. There’s a lot that’s happened during the past six months, and I’ll get to that. There are also three more posts I wrote in jail that need to be published. Unfortunately the whole blogging from jail thing didn’t work out as planned, but that’s okay. Shit happens.

In September I received a copy of Hazelden’s Twenty Four Hours a Day book from a fellow inmate. It was custom to dole out extra commissary or other goodies to your buddies upon release. What a wonderful feeling it was to get to that day myself and distribute my shampoo, lotion, candy, notebook paper, etc.

In treatment last fall, we read from the 24 Hours a Day book every morning. I still don’t have a copy of my own, but enjoyed adding the daily reading to my morning rituals while incarcerated. One of the first things I did after getting the book was to flip through to June 9, the day of my sentencing. I was floored when I read it. I took this photo of the entry at a meeting yesterday morning:

image

Coincidence? I don’t know, but it brought me to tears. The day of my sentencing and the start of my incarceration wasn’t my bottom, but it sure felt like another bottom. I was sober, but felt like I’d been drop-kicked into a sewer. Thanks to my drinking, I was broke, spiritually bankrupt, I hated myself and yes, life seemed impossible.

“We had to end it all or do something about it.” Waking up in the ICU, not knowing what I had done (aside from drinking and driving) to get there, I knew it was do or die time. Not everyone gets a second chance, and there’s a reason that I got one. There’s a reason that I lost nearly everything. I am here to help others and to show them that the impossible can be done. That despite all the shit stacked against us, it is possible to climb your way out the rubble, the ruins of drink. To come out of life on top. To succeed. To deal with hardship without diving into a bottle every time something bad happens.

Am I glad I did something about it?” Hell yeah, I am! Onwards and upwards, friends. Onwards and upwards!

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8 thoughts on “585 Days

  1. It makes me smile to see your posts now. I love that you’ve turned something that would make most people hard and cold into something warm and beautiful.

    So happy you’re back and I can’t wait to read your upcoming posts.

    Sherry

  2. I know the road hasn’t been and continues to not be altogether easy, but you’re an inspiration KC! It’s so nice to read / hear from you in real-time again. πŸ™‚

  3. I am so glad to have you back. Missed your posts and was worried about you (as one can about a stranger) in jail. Thanks for demonstrating faith sometimes I sorely lack it!

  4. I am blown away. I have 158 days sober and my soul is healing. I realize how sick my mind was from this disease. I am so grateful to have come to the other side. They sat there is no coincidences but I have to tell you my birthday is 6-9 and that reading is so in touch with where I have been. Stay strong. We need each other! Blessed and grateful for you!

    • Congrats on 158 days!!! It takes time to be able to look back and see how sick we were. I’m still blown away by what I lived with and considered normal. Crazy coincidence that 6/9 is your birthday! I’m glad to be on this journey with you. πŸ™‚ -KC

      • This New life is so amazing! All of this stuff fills my soul! Love that We can guide other people to what we have.

  5. So good to read your posts. We don’t know each other, but your posts are an inspiration to me. Stay strong!! I am back to day one again. What a waste of precious time! Looking forward to reading more posts from you.

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