790 Days

As you’ve all figured out by now, my life has gotten a wee bit hectic. June was a blur, and sadly, it took me a while to figure out that I was neglecting myself. I had no Me Time, no balance. It’s just been go, go go! No wonder I’ve spent this week white-knuckling sobriety.

It’s scary how fast I can go back to being completely self-centered, resentful and ruled by fear. Tonight I went to a meeting that I normally don’t go to, due to the fact that it’s filled with chatty and oft obnoxious millennials. Of course the discussion revolved around my current struggles, and it was a really fantastic meeting. I left feeling five pounds lighter. I now have a clearer picture in my head of what I need to be doing to take care of myself, along with what needs to be done to aid in my recovery. In addition to all this, I hope to utilize this space more. I miss it, and writing here and connecting with others has helped a whole hell of a lot in the past.

How do you, wise readers, seek balance when life feels like a circus?

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13 thoughts on “790 Days

  1. This couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time! I am juggling so much right now, including two online classes, one being Stats. I am in a constant state of anxiety, even in my sleep. I cannot relax, constantly am sighing, and cannot slow my mind down. If I were still drinking, I’d get to relax every evening if I wanted to. But then I think of the mornings, the wondering what I did/said/decided the night before, since I could never recall most of the evening, even after just a few. Within the past week, I went through yet another camping trip with everyone but ME DRINKING and where I had to do homework, but then ended up cutting it short because my son had a bicycle injury that required surgery to fix his toe, my first 4th without drinking, hell with classes, constant questioning from my family when I’ll get there as promised, as I’ve delayed my trip a few times already. I am reminded every hour of every day and night why I liked drinking so much. But I just take it day by day. I tell myself I could’ve NEVER handled this much of a load while drinking. I am improving myself tremendously, although I do think I need to let some commitments go. So I didn’t help answer your question regarding balance. I do take time for myself physically as I workout or run daily. That is definitely an awesome escape. I wish you the best. This is a MUCH BETTER LIFE!!!!

    • It is so much better! Always good to hear from you. 🙂 And I’m sighing constantly these days, too! Hahahaha. I’m dealing with an ankle injury from last September while I was locked up. It’s keeping me from my usual activity which is really frustrating. I’ve been doing PT twice a week since April, and now we’re trying a procedure this week. My doc is trying to keep me from surgery (BIG SIGH). So I miss that physical release…trying to get back into pilates and such. Also trying to remember to say no…I can’t do it all. I am number one in my life and I need to keep myself healthy.

  2. I say no to anything I can, even if I sort of want to do it. Opportunities return.
    I sleep as much as I can.
    And I find time to be alone. Yoga is often the answer, but if I can’t do that I close he door and sit with my eyes closed and remember that in that moment everything is peaceful.

  3. I am just beginning to do what Anne and WaterGirl do…take time out for myself. Your post is so dead-on for me…just this week I made the pointed decision to promise myself to take my lunch hours and use them wisely instead of working through them. For example:
    Former lunch hour=work through lunch, shove food in my face while working because I am busy.
    New lunch hour=step away from work no matter what, bring a healthy & yummy lunch to enjoy, bring a book…eat, read, and then I’ve even been taking a 10 min walk outside after lunch.
    Anyway…my point is that I’ve made an active decision to take time out for self-care. It really helps.
    Jenn

    • My work became CRAZY at the end of April. A coworker left, and her position was dropped into my lap. Found myself working through lunch. The dean of my academic library scolded me (in a nice way) one time. Ever since then, I’ve been eating lunch outside as often as I can with a book. So much better, and I look forward to it. But yes…self care needs to be top priority for us all!

      • Yes..do you ever notice that some of the key points to staying sober are simple things…eat well, sleep well and long enough, get out and get sunshine, pray/meditate, exercise, keep your priorities straight (sobriety, family, spirituality,etc), be honest, help others….all pretty basic things that I managed to screw up pretty badly in my life…what a difference now that I’m sober 🙂
        Jenn

  4. Hi,
    When I start to feel like I’m drifting it’s usually tiredness or needing to go outside. Changing the environment really works for me, as does just switching off and getting some rest.
    My can’t-live-without-it sober foundations are running, yoga and drinking water.
    Thanks,
    Bren Murphy

    • Thank you, love! I think I’ve written out a blog post mentally about 300 times by now! I am doing well, life is hectic but good. 🙂 Getting close to the 3 year sobriety mark, whew! Time flies. I hope you are well.

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